Testing Madness pt. 2 (PSAT Edition)

So..... that happened. Meaning that the PSAT dropped like a bomb this morning, and it was even weirder than anticipated. I spent most of my day parsing the results with Test Prep professionals and my colleagues. Oh, and answering emails! I know you have questions, and I am hoping that I have the answers. If I don't answer your question here, chances are I don't know and won't know for a bit longer.

Meanwhile, if you haven't been able to access your scores online, either you haven't registered for a College Board account, or the account has not been connected with your scores yet. Don't worry. At some point, you will receive an access code from your counselor, and you will then be able to see your scores. There is no immediate rush to do so, but when you get the score report, please download it, and send it to me.

Ultimately, the PSAT scores do not matter. They will not be sent to colleges, and only a very, very small percentage of you (3%) will be eligible for National Merit Commended Student or National Merit Semifinalist status. How do I know that? It is because the cut offs (the Selection Index on your forms) for the NMSQT are done by state, and DC, CA, and MA have some of the highest cutoffs nationwide. VAand MD are not far behind. In 2015 the cutoff for DC was 225, MD and VA were 222. The Commended student number has historically been around 203.

I am giving you these numbers so you have some context for the Selection Index that you have received with the caveat: Everything could be different this year. Even the 8 page (!) Concordance table that I have is labeled as "preliminary." (click here)

So here is what I know:
• The test is scored out of 1560 deliberately so it is not directly comparable to the SAT.
• The breakdowns will be important to your test prep person, because it will show where you need more work.
• The percentiles are MEANINGLESS. The curve is very sharp.
• The formula for calculating the Selection Index is very complex, and not worth figuring out. It is what it is.
• The Test Scores (the ones out of 38) are ultimately important, but it isn’t clear yet.

Finally, my bedside reading is this 40 page Lesson Plan released by the College Board two days ago. If you want to read it and explain it to me, I would be grateful!

My testing suggestions:
1) Stay the Course. The rSAT and the ACT have not changed since we last discussed what test is best for you.
2) If you are planning to take the ACT and want to give the rSAT a try, go for it! (and visa versa)
3) If you are a slow reader and you do not have accommodations, and you liked your PSAT scores, then go for the rSAT.

Testing Madness

I have been closely following information about testing for the class of 2017 and beyond. Much of it has been contradictory, and changes from week to week. Just yesterday, Trinity College of Hartford CT joined the test optional movement!

Up to this point, I have been recommending that students who did well on the PSAT in 10th grade, consider taking the OLD SAT this fall, and hold off on the rSAT until we had some more information. Well, that information is here. Two weeks ago, VA Tech confirmed that it would only be accepting the NEW rSAT for admission for fall of 2017. At the conference last week in San Diego, some colleges indicated privately that they will give preference for the NEW rSAT over the old SAT, because it is a harder test. They may even give the rSAT an edge over the ACT. On paper, however, they will accept both tests and the ACT.

This is creating a very rocky testing environment, with students prepping for tests, and then learning that the situation has changed. It is very upsetting for everyone, and makes the test optional colleges look more attractive! (Here is the latest list: fairtest.org)

So here is what I am recommending based on what I know today:

1. Prepare for whichever test you have chosen, and take that test.
2. Plan to take the SAT Subject Tests in May (this is true for 2018s too, but they can take it in June as well)
3. No matter what test you have prepared for, plan on taking the rSAT in June 2016.
4. Over the summer, we will assess the climate and make a decision about what scores to send. Could be one, could be all, could be none.

I wish I could be more definitive, but the winds are shifting too swiftly to know how this will all play out. As Jed's blog indicates, most colleges are in a "wait and see" mode. One thing is sure: they will make their decisions based on what is best for them, and their pool of prospective candidates. And decisions could be made next week, or 6 months from now, so stay tuned...

Freshman Year is a Transition...

So, Freshman Year is finally here, with all the excitement and anxiety that comes along with starting something totally new. You have packed up your stuff, moved in, and unpacked into a totally new environment. You may have even started classes already. Your parents have left, tearfully or quietly. And now you are looking around your new environment and wondering: What do I do now?

In particular the first few months of Freshman Year are difficult ones. You are out of your familiar environment. You don't have a solid group of friends yet, and you may be feeling like the admissions committee made a terrible mistake by letting you in! Here are some tips to get you through until you reach your comfort level:

Remember to Breathe: College is new experience, and can produce a lot of excitement and stress. Like summer camp, you are around new people 24 hours a day. Unlike camp, you won't be going home in a few weeks. This will be your life for 4 or more years. So take time to yourself when you need it. Remember to exercise, and while junk food is a huge temptation, you will feel a lot better if you make an effort to eat in a healthy way. Sleep is also important. If it is too noisy, get some earplugs. Just remember to put your phone on vibrate under your pillow to wake you up if you think you might not hear your alarm!

Say Yes.... to Everything: Sometimes you just want to veg out in your room.... but at least initially, don't turn down a single invitation or option to try something new. You may meet your soon-to-be best friend that way, or find something that you really enjoy. Even if you hate the experience, you don't have to repeat it. Everyone will be stretching their wings and reinventing themselves initially, so it is a good time to push up against your boundaries as well. Shy people can become more outgoing by make the effort in a new environment. (Saying Yes to everything does NOT include drugs or alcohol!)

Be Easy on Yourself: Insecurity and self-esteem issues can make people boast about or overstate their achievements, and then feel anxious about how they really stack up. This is a huge transition, and everyone else is also doubting themselves at least a little bit. Don't expect straight As (or even Bs) on your first few assignments. And don't wait until the last minute either. It will take a while to figure the rhythm and expectations of college life.

Rely on Yourself (but ask for help if you need it): Your parents love you, and will be happy to hear your complaints and try to solve your problems. Don't let them. Think in terms of: I have this problem, and this is what I plan to do about it. You can ask for advice, but make the decision for yourself. You will feel a lot more independent, and they will respect you more when you are taking responsibility for yourself. Remember, you can always rely on the RA, the Counseling Center, the Dean of Students and the Tutoring Center if you need them. They will be discreet, and no one needs to know. And if you feel lonely, don't call or text your friends back home... get out of your room and walk down the hall and talk to someone new. Your new friend is probably feeling out of place, too.


PARENTS: When my older children went to college, I changed the ring tone on my phone to one from the musical "Hairspray" that sings out: "Stop! Don't! No! Momma I'm a Big Girl Now!" The ring tone reminds me that no matter what I hear on the phone, I should stop giving advice, and start asking: What do you think you are going to do about that? I still get involved in finances and medical emergencies, but when Sasha got head lice her Freshman year, all I could do was say: That sounds awful! Well, you had better head over to health services. The point is, that you are not there, and they need to start doing things for themselves as the young adults they are!

So here are my tips for you:
Encourage, don't solve: The more that you can live and breathe this mantra, the better your relationship will be with your college student! Do not do anything for them on a regular basis that they can do for themselves, including calling professors, etc!

Text, don't call: You don't know where they are every minute of the day anymore. And even when they aren't in class, they may be socializing, so it is much more respectful to text than to call. And they will be more likely to respond. Better yet, wait for them to contact you!

Buy tickets as early as you can: Thanksgiving, Winter and Spring break flights are a bear. They earlier you book, the cheaper they are. It also will give you and your college student a sense of security knowing when you will see them. By the way, pick them up at the airport or station yourself. The ride home is the best time to hear all the details of college life before they reconnect with their high school friends.



Drop offs: Don't think the whole family needs to bring your kid to college. Remember that saying goodbye is emotional for your kid also, and for some, fewer goodbyes at the dorm might be better. Sure you can probably set up a dorm-room better than your child — but you may not get the chance, whether or not you are there. (Credit for this tip goes to Robin Broad, a professor at American University. Thanks, Robin!)

Parents weekend: I have mentioned this before: 2 meals and a shopping trip of their choice. I guarantee they will look forward to your coming back for visits if you stick to this limit. They won't be sick of you, you won't be impinging on their social life, and all in all, it makes for a pleasant visit when everyone knows what to expect!

Wishing you all a happy transition!

Knowing Your Animal Profile Can Help With College and Career Choices

It is said that Knowledge is Power. And I think that it is true in most cases... the more you know, the better decisions you can make. 

I recently developed a special pack of cards for my students to use to help them narrow down their college choices. It is based on a process called Top Card or Animal Kingdom for figuring out personality priorities that help people understand how they relate to their environment and the motivation behind their behaviors. The idea is to imagine that all life is erased from the world as we know it and only 4 species of animals can come back. If you want to be in the world, you have to choose one of these 4 animals. They are the Chameleon, Lion, Turtle and Eagle. 

Lions need lots of challenges, both academically and from their peers. Chameleons are looking to connect with others and collaborate. Eagles thrive in more structured environments, where they know what to expect, and Turtles, well, they bring their houses with them, so they make themselves comfortable wherever they are. 

My clients LOVE working with these cards. It has helped us develop a type of short hand as we discuss their choices of colleges, majors and ultimately careers. I also love this system because every time I do it, I always learn something new about myself. And because it isn't a forced choice, I realize that I have aspects of all the other animals in my personality as well.  The end result is a spectrum of information… “You have all these skills, but when you are stressed you may lean toward using this set."

Kids as young as 8 can answer the questions on the cards and sort them into 4 categories. It can be a fun family activity to find out which animal personality fits you best. When the Turtle in the family needs some “shell time” or the Lion starts to roar, it can also be a way to understand differences and be patient with each other. 

These cards are now available as part of Kickstarter campaign (http://kck.st/1yR0VSl).  If you would like to support the Animal Kingdom, please consider buying a pack. After the campaign is over the cards will retail for $20 and will be sold on bit.ly/animalkingdomcards.

Waiting is the Hardest Part

There are several stress peaks during this very stressful year, and this two weeks period is one of them (the other major one is at the end of March).

Acceptances will be trickling in, not just for you, but also for your friends. It is easy to get overwhelmed and depressed and anxious about the news. If you get accepted, you are ecstatic and happily share the news no matter how it will affect your friends and their mood. If you get deferred, you suddenly doubt that you will get in anywhere else. If you are denied... well, it isn't a good time.

So here are some tips for surviving (and thriving) during this very difficult time:

1. STOP TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT COLLEGE. This is especially important for parents. I walked on the treadmill at my health club and overheard 3 separate conversations about college. And in each one, at least one of parents got more and more anxious as they talked. You have plenty of other things to discuss. Be considerate about your friends' feelings and be discreet. Do not post your acceptance on Facebook! (this goes for parents, too!) Wait until May when all the choices have been made, and then you can celebrate.

2. FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES. If you have received an acceptance to one of your lower choice schools (safeties), print out the acceptance letter and post it on the refrigerator or someplace where you will see it often. It may not be your first choice, but at least you are going to college. (For those who haven't heard yet, stay positive, and distract yourself in other ways).

3. LET IT GO. If you are denied, repeat this mantra: "There will be other, better colleges for me and it is their loss." And then let it go. Don't obsess about why it happened. It is out of your control.

4. BE CONSTRUCTIVE. If you are deferred, make sure to update your file with mid-year grades, and anything new that has happened since you submitted your application. You still have a chance, so don't get bitter or obsessive. Send in anything that you think will strengthen your file. Also refocus on classwork and grades. They are more important than ever.

5. DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE. Take time to take care of yourself, and spend time with people you care about. Exercise, eat your favorite holiday foods, and enjoy yourself.

Hang in there... this too shall pass!

20 Tasks Teens Need to Know Before They Leave for College

I recently read a blog that listed 31 tasks that teens should be able to do before they left for college. I agreed with most of the items, but then I realized that I needed to add/subtract/amend some of them. So here is The College Lady's list of what teens should know how to do before they go to college.

In no particular order:

1. Manage a bank account (using a check card, checking your balance, and generally, not going into overdraft!)
2. Pay a bill (either in person, or using a website, or through your checking account. This includes using a credit card)
3. Make travel arrangements (you have to travel back and forth from college, right?)
4. Navigate an airport, train or bus station, take a cab or ride the subway
5. Talk to a stranger, whether it is a cab driver, a professor or the college dean
6. Plunge a toilet (an important life skill)/clean a bathroom (especially after you have been sick)
7. Car maintenance, change a tire, check the oil (especially important if you will have a car at college, but helping a friend out if they need it is valuable, too)
8. Pay for dinner, including appropriate tipping skills
9. Self-prescribe over the counter meds (what to take for muscle pain, headache, etc. without calling Dr. Mom)
10. Call a doctor (knowing when to call is an art, but there are general guidelines)
11. Cook a meal (especially if you don't want to eat at dining services all the time!)
12. Cancel a membership or an account
13. Buy clothes/Return a purchase
14. Pack a suitcase
    
15. Do the laundry/use an iron/sew a button/remove a stain
16. Comparison shopping and staying on a budget when you are buying your own food (using coupons and shopping the sales is important, too)
17. Negotiate a deal (it can't hurt to ask for a discount, as long as you aren't being pushy or obnoxious)
18. Make a bed (impress your roommate or prospective partners!)
19. Enjoy a drink responsibly and know when to stop drinking before you get too drunk or sick (and know how to take care of a sick roommate or friend)
    
20. Say "no" with confidence to roommates, panhandlers and unwanted sexual advances.

Tips to Triumph over Testing Torture!

Pardon the alliteration in the title, but testing is the bane of most student's existence. Even with test prep, it is stressful, and you have to wake up early on a weekend after a long week at school. Sadly, even with the "new" SAT on the horizon, testing is going to be a part of high school life for the foreseeable future. So whether you are taking the AP, SAT, ACT, SAT subject tests or PSAT, here are some tried and true tips to help you get through it.

• Sleep
  Getting a good night's sleep the night before a test is a no-brainer. But did you know that getting a full 8 hours of sleep two nights before is even more important? Your quality of sleep on both Thursday night and Friday night before a Saturday test is critical... it is almost like putting sleep in the bank, so that in case you don't sleep well on Friday, you have enough to make sure you can adequately function on the rest of the previous night’s sleep. The quality of the sleep and the regularity (same time to bed, and same time getting up) also helps you feel more awake on the morning of the test.
• Food
  Make sure you have plenty to eat and drink before and during the test. Pack lots of fluids and granola bars and high protein snacks to keep you going. Stay away from caffeine if it makes you jittery. The same goes for sugar, so you avoid the energy high and then crash that can happen. Students who take tests without snacking show a noticeable drop in their scores as the test goes on... Forget the diet, just keep yourself going for all 3.5 hours!
• Gum, mints or hard candy
  Studies have shown that sucking on mints or Jolly Rancher candies, or chewing gum can increase concentration during a test. Don't believe me? Click here. (http://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/gum-chewing-may-improve-concentrati-13-03-26/) If one is distracting, or you tend to crunch (which could annoy other test takers) switch to something else. And remember: unwrap before the test begins!
• Visualize success
  Five minutes before the test begins, close your eyes and visualize yourself taking the tests and achieving your goals. Meditation can help you focus, feel more confident, and will help you maintain a positive outlook rather than feeling shaken when you don't know the answer to a question. Check this out: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/03/how-meditation-might-boost-your-test-scores/

Good luck with your testing... Once the Test Torture is out of the way, you can move on to the next stage of your college admission process. Whew!

Demystifying What Comes Next

This time last year, we were worried about the effects of Hurricane Sandy, and colleges were extending deadlines for those affected.

This year we are worried about the effects of Hurricane Common App, and colleges are extending early decision and early action deadlines.

I guess what this means is that the more things change, the more they stay the same!

The good news is that most of you have submitted all your early round applications by now, so your struggles with the Common App are (somewhat) over.

But not quite yet. Here are some items that might need your attention:

1) Some of you have submitted applications, and there are green checks, and credit card charges that show they have been sent. BUT, you have not heard from the colleges directly. This could mean one of several things:

• The application is still in cyberspace waiting for the college to download it
• The college knows it is there but cannot download it because the technology won't let them
• The college has downloaded the application, but it is in gibberish, so they can't read it.
• The college did send you an email and it went to your SPAM folder (Please check and make sure!).

If you haven't heard anything, and you sent the application more than a week ago, please contact the college by email or by phone and check and make sure it was received.

2) Once you have heard from the college and you have a user name and password, log on to your accounts at each of your early round colleges and check on your materials. DO NOT PANIC if your transcripts, recommendations or scores have not arrived. It generally takes up to a month for the colleges to process and log in all the materials they are receiving. All you should concern yourself with is the payment, application and supplement, if required. You will not be held accountable if the school materials arrive after the deadline. Please be advised that the issues we all had with the Common App are actually worse on the high school college end... they are also having Naviance issues, in addition!

3) While you are at it, register for alumni interviews at all your colleges, or at least your top 5. Many will not offer interviews, or if you already interviewed on campus, you won't need another one. In most cases, you cannot register for an alumni interview until the application is submitted.

The interview will not make or break your application, but it does indicate interest, which is important. It goes without saying (but I will anyway) that you should use your best manners, and do not stand up the interviewer. It leaves a very bad impression... even worse than if you have nothing to say.

4) Finally, early round schools will be responding in December, mostly around the 15th, with a few exceptions (UMD responds in January). All of your remaining applications should be sent or teed up and ready to go by then. I will be available for calls, questions, and celebration or empathy throughout December, so please let me know when you hear anything.

Financial Aid and the EFC

I have recently returned from a conference, where we spoke specifically about the EFC, the Estimated Family Contribution that the Federal Government and each College and University uses to determine how much financial aid you need, and specifically how much your family can contribute to college. These numbers can vary dramatically from college to college, and family to family, depending on how many children are in college at once, and other expenses. Knowing your EFC can be an important tool as you and your child navigate the financial aid waters.

I cannot tell you how many times I have heard parents say that they are not eligible for financial aid, only to find out later that they can get some aid. Whether that aid comes in the form of loans or grants (which don't have to be repaid) is also a big issue.

So, please, do yourself a favor, grab your last tax return and go to one of the following websites (or both) and do the calculations. I would put in your state school, and a private school to see how the calculations change. If your student has a first choice school, go to their website and find the EFC Calculator and see what comes up there, too. It shouldn't take more than 15 minutes, time well spent, I assure you.

FAFSA4caster https://fafsa.ed.gov/FAFSA/app/f4cForm?execution=e1s1
(This is run by the federal government)

Big Future https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/pay-for-college/paying-your-share/expected-family-contribution-calculator
(This one is run by the CollegeBoard, and you can choose between federal methodology and institutional methodology)

Please bear in mind that this does not account for merit aid packages, and some colleges require you to complete the FAFSA (even if your EFC is high) in order to be eligible for merit aid.

Minimalist Packing List

There are lots of lists out there, and you probably have gotten a list from the college, but I have found that those lists tend to have TOO MUCH stuff on them, and too much=clutter lack of space.

My first tip is two-fold:

1. Sign up for your local Container Store College night event. Everything in the store will be 20% off, so even though it is generally a little pricey, the discount makes a lot of sense.
   
2. Make sure you do a "dry run" first. The store will be INSANE on the night of the sale, with a line leading out the door and down the block. If you spend time before the event making a list and picking out items, you will have a much less stressful experience. Also, the under-the-bed boxes always sell out first, but you can get a rain check to pick one up later if you know what you want.

Packing tips:

• Remember that you are not going to the ends of the earth! It won't be long until parents weekend, so they can bring you anything you have forgotten. There are also plenty of stores around campus, including the bookstore that supply frequently forgotten items.
  
• Don't rely on your parents to ship anything you need at a moment's notice. UPS/Fedex and the US Mail may deliver swiftly, but the college mailroom can take a week or more to deliver to your mailbox.
  
• Many items you need can be pre-ordered at a local store and picked up at a “sister” store at the college.  Best Buy, Bed Bath & Beyond, etc.  allow students to shop locally and have it available at the store nearest to your college campus. Any prescriptions should be sent to a CVS or Rite Aid so that they can be renewed locally.
  
• Communicate with your roommate beforehand so you don't duplicate large items like refrigerators, microwaves or fans.
  
• Do not overpack clothing... cold weather gear can be picked up at Thanksgiving, so just bring one coat and waterproof boots for unseasonable weather. There won't be a lot of storage space, and initially less is more.
  
• Bed Risers can be helpful to create more room for storage under the bed, but many schools have beds that have adjustable heights, so check before you buy them!
  
• Clothing: Plan on bringing as much underwear as you have because you will probably not be doing laundry weekly. Start out with a very limited wardrobe. You can always add items after Parent's weekend and Thanksgiving. The less you have, the less you have to keep track of.
  
• Finally: Pack with a view to what you will have to do at the end of the year. Shipping back and forth is expensive, so look into storage places in the area so you don't have to bring things back and forth. Or hire a service that packs up, stores and delivers to your new dorm in the fall (expensive, but it can be worth it for the stress reduction!)

At the end there is a cute video of 10 items to take with you... but here is the essentials list:

The Minimalist Packing List: These items are essential

Electronics

Surge Protector
Desk lamp or bedside Lamp
Laptop Computer, case, carrying bag (if you can afford a computer, it will be convenient to have. If you can't bring lots of thumb drives)
Printer and ink (unless you get free/cheap printing on campus)
thumb drives
Alarm clock/Radio (or Iphone/Ipod dock), Headphones (good for privacy)

Desk Items (most can be bought on campus)

pens and pencils, highlighters, scissors, tape, stapler, notebooks, post it notes
Dry erase calendar/board

Things for your room

Hangers (bring more than you think you will need... drawer space is limited)
Coat Rack (a great place to throw clothing to get it off the floor when your parents visit)
Trash can
Plastic cup, plate and bowl, fork, knife, spoon, coffee cup, ziplock bags, dish soap, paper towels, trash bags
Toolkit
Milk crates or storage cubes
Under the bed storage
Adhesive hooks, tacky adhesive, mounting tape
Bedding (sheets, pillowcases, pillows, towels, mattress pad, blankets, bed cover)
Laundry items (Basket or bag, detergent)
Sleeping bag for guests, (or if you are sexiled)
Broom and dustpan or small vacuum
Sewing kit
Small/Medium duffel bag for coming home

Personal care items

Cosmetics and toiletries including soap case, and toothbrush case (cases can help to keep things clean)
Shower tote, Shower sandals, bathrobe or large towel
First aid kit, vitamins, personal medicine

Good to have

Compact umbrella (also consider rain boots)
Flashlight

These items are nice to have (but check with your roommate first):

Compact Refrigerator
Coffeemaker or electric kettle
Microwave

And here is the video:

10 College Admissions Myths

When you have a process as complex and seemingly random as the current College Admissions climate, myths inevitably spring up that people cling to. Some of them are holdovers from when the parents applied, and some are hopeful efforts to ease anxiety. Here are some of the most common myths that I have seen over the years...

1. The Common Application makes it easy to apply to multiple schools who accept it. (The only thing that the Common App makes easier is that applicants don't have to fill in basic data for each application, and there is one main essay. Each school has it's own supplement which can be quite involved to fill out, and you still have to pay for each application!)
   
2. Grades and test scores will get you in or keep you out — the quality of the application doesn't really matter. (How you fill out the application can make a big difference, and extracurriculars, essays and other choices are the parts of the process that can make the difference between being a one note student, and a 3 dimensional applicant)
   
3. If your grades and test scores put you in the middle 50%, you'll probably get in. (I wish! That middle 50% is an average. In practice, students who score in the middle 50% and don't have other things on their application that set them apart are most often rejected or at best waitlisted.)
   
4. If you apply to 10 schools that each have a 10% acceptance rate, you'll definitely get in to at least 1 of them. (Once again, that math doesn't work. Even if you have top test scores and grades, each school has it's own institutional priorities, and you CAN get rejected from all 10.)
   
5. If you are a legacy at a school, you have a pretty good chance of getting in. (This falls into the "it depends" category. Did you apply early decision? Are your parents big donors? Do you have the grades and scores that make you desirable to the school? Then MAYBE, and only maybe.)
   
6. If a coach says he/she really wants you on the team, admissions will go with it regardless of the academic fit. (Uh, No. Do not count on this. Too many students have had a rude awakening mid-December—or later—when they were not accepted to a school that recruited them. Coaches do not always understand the institutional priorities that are the basis of admissions decisions!)
   
7. Athletic coaches are totally honest all of the time. (Wouldn't it be nice if this were true? But coaches are working to build the best team, not be nice people.)
   
8. If your grades and scores are above the 75% (or 80% or 90%) percentile for a college, you are guaranteed to get in. (This is the safety school myth. Give it up. There is no such thing as a safety school anymore. No colleges want to be considered safeties, and will often reject or waitlist students who haven't shown the demonstrated interest that they will actually attend if they are accepted.)
   
9. Valedictorians, and students with perfect scores get in wherever they want. (All of the most highly competitive schools regularly reject valedictorians and those with perfect scores, especially if those students don't have anything else on their resumes. If you have spent all your time studying, it is unlikely that you will actively contribute to campus life.)
   
10. The more schools you apply to, the better choice you will have. (Each application you submit should be put together in a thoughtful way. If you apply too widely, the quality of each application will be compromised. Very few students have enough time, energy and focus to multiple high quality applications that are specifically tailored to each institution. The quality of the application and the essays ready do matter even for large public universities. )

Are there any myths you have heard that I have missed? I am happy to put them through the True/False test!

 Thanks to Lori McGlone, Tractus Education, for her initial list of myths.

Decisions

This is the week. By Friday, you should have responses from all your schools. It has been a long wait, and now is the time to take control again and make some decisions. Bear in mind, that in the end, you are the one who will have to live with your decision, at least for the next year.

I have some things I want you to take into consideration:

• Wait list is not a rejection. It means you made the cut, and if they had room, they would have taken you. If one of your favorite schools has you on wait list, consider visiting and pleading your case directly to an admissions officer. Send in an extra recommendation. Write a personal (passionate) letter talking about all the reasons you love that school.
• Go back and visit again. Visiting now is much more important than schoolwork at this point. Colleges look different with an acceptance in your pocket. Your "first choice" may not be as attractive. If at all possible, go without your parents and experience the travel and the college by yourself. You are going to have to get yourself back and forth next year.
• Talk to your Parents about finances. Now is the time to make sure that you take the financial realities into account. Figure out that the unmet gap is, and what will need to be paid back, so you understand the financial liabilities.
• Narrow your list. If you got into several schools, narrow your list down to 2-3. It is impossible to compare more than 3 schools because you will get overwhelmed. 
• Emphasize the positive. This year has been brutal. But in the end, everyone will end up somewhere, and almost 70% of students end up happy at their colleges. If we did our job right, you liked most of the schools on your list enough to attend any of them. So don't dwell on the negative. Those colleges just didn't appreciate you, and it is their loss.

Best wishes for happy visits, and good choices!

March is the LONGEST month

April may be the cruelest month, but for high school seniors and their parents, March is the LONGEST month. The end is in sight for the college admissions process… but it is still a month away. And then, when you do find out where you got in, and where you didn’t, inevitably there will be a wait list here and there, muddying the results. Financial aid packages will dribble in, too, and because each will have its own unique combination of merit aid, need-based aid, and loans, it will be hard to compare to them without a spreadsheet. And don’t get me started on what the stress and anxiety does to relationships within the family!

So what can you do, aside from making time move faster?

1.     Be patient with yourself and others. Spend this month doing things that you really enjoy, that you may not have a chance to do next year. Hang out with friends (but DON’T talk about college). Cook elaborate family dinners, or bake cookies and cakes. Enjoy the gorgeous weather, and spend time doing outdoor activities. Whatever helps you get out of your head, and remember that this, too, shall pass.

2.     Remember that no matter what happens, you can only attend one college (at a time). This is sort of like choosing a romantic partner… there is no such thing as perfect, so you are really looking for a place that you will enjoy, and won’t be sick of within a year. About 30% of college students transfer (for a variety of reasons, including finances) so no decision is final, but given your choices, make the best decision for you, and don’t look back.

3.     Spend some time thinking about what factors are the most important to you… is it a location, a specific major, or some other factor that will make or break your decision? This is a good time to go back and look over your notes, or revisit some of your choices so that you can make the decision easier. Otherwise, plan on spending some time on the road in April, visiting your top choices to make the final decision.

4.     Focus on your academics. It may not seem like grades and scores matter anymore, but they do. Your high school will be sending your final grades to your college, and if your grades drop, your acceptance could be rescinded, or you could be asked to attend summer school (ugh!). Also, scores on AP and IB exams will be helpful to you in the fall, for extra credits, getting out of freshman English, or taking an upper level class.

I wish I could tell you that it will all be fine, and you will get into your top choice school. Sadly, that may not be an option. But I can tell you this: Most students end up loving the school that they attend, and the most important part is the fit, and the affordability of the price tag, and not the name or prestige level. The bottom line is that your education is what you make of it, and you can get an amazing education at any of the colleges you applied to!

A Parent's Role in the College Application Process

I got a question the other day about a parent's role in the college process, and you might find my answer surprising...

While I usually insist that students take the reins and control the application process, there are some specific things that are best for parents to take care of:

College Visits: Because parents are better able to see the big picture and plan logistically, it is easier for them to schedule and plan college visits, including travel, hotels, and making reservations for tours and interviews. If your student is able to focus on this, by all means, let them do it, but it is my experience that juggling coursework, testing and extracurriculars makes it tough for high school juniors to focus on this as well.

These arrangements should be made with the participation and approval of the student... this means: visit the colleges they want to see, and make sure they aren't missing important academic and sporting events.

Scheduling testing: Because this involves a credit card, I generally suggest that parents schedule the SAT, ACT and Subject tests on the College Board website. Your student should know or pick the password, however, because we will need that later in the process when we send the scores.

Financial Aid: Students often think it is their job to fill out the FAFSA and CSS Profile forms for financial aid. But the most important information on the form is the parent's financial information. So unless you share your tax returns with your student, this is a job for the parents.

CommonApp: This item may have you scratching your head, and I agree... I would prefer that most students fill out their own Common Application form. However, there is information that they don't know, such as the year you graduated from high school/college/graduate school. Most students also don't know their social security numbers, which they also need on the form. You can provide this information to your student, and we can make sure the forms are done, but at the end: I will want you as parents to look over the Common App to make sure that you are happy with what we are sending, and that nothing important has been omitted. This does not mean editing the essay again, but it does mean that all the extracurriculars and honors have been listed, etc. You won't need to worry about this until just before we send it all off.


And that is it... everything else should be something that your student can take care of with your support (and mine).

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to let me know...

Holiday Gifts for soon to be College Students!

I just got asked about what gifts parents can get that will be useful for their seniors next year. Here is a list of some of the things that my own children and their friends have found useful:

• A bag for lugging around books and a laptop. 
• All my kids preferred messenger bags with laptop padding to backpacks.
• A laptop lock... they may never use it, but it doesn't hurt to have.
• A standing coat rack (helps for cleaning their room in a jiffy)
• A rolling duffle for travel
• A standing lamp with adjustable arms
• A headlamp or neck lamp so that they can read at night when a roommate may be asleep
• Comfortable soundblocking headphones
• A ipod charger/clock radio for next to the bed
• Believe it or not, a lightweight vacuum (one that is a handvac with a long handle works well)

Storage is important, and usually there is room for storage boxes under their beds. There is a huge Container Store sale just for college students over the summer in July if you will be here.

'Tis the Season...

Acceptances and deferrals are starting to roll in. I mentioned keeping your attitude positive in my last post, but I wanted to also give you some good advice on what to do if you get a deferral from one of your top schools. Many students in the early rounds are athletes, legacies or have other big "hooks" to help them get in (minorities and celebrities), so don't give up hope. They wouldn't have deferred you if you didn't have what it takes to get in!

Here are my top 4 Tips for Dealing with a Deferral:

1. Don't Give Up.
Getting deferred is not the same as getting rejected. It is not even the same as getting on the waiting list. Getting deferred means that either the college or university could only accept a certain number in the EA/ED round, and they needed to wait on accepting the rest until the regular round. Most colleges can completely fill their freshman classes with the early apps, and they need to keep spaces open for students who don't get their apps in until January. If you hang in there and add to your file, up to 50% of deferred students can end up being accepted.

   Getting deferred might also mean that the college wants to give you a chance to strengthen your application, bu adding additional qualifications, or getting better grades. So put your nose to the grindstone, and focus on grades, activities, and whatever you think you might be missing. (more one this in the next Tip)

   Make sure that you write or call the admissions office and find out why you were deferred. It might be a missing item, or that there was a particular weakness that you might be able to address in some way.

2. Add to your File
Update your file with any new awards, scores, extra-curriculars or leadership activities that were left off the original application, or came up later. This is important because the colleges want to know that you are still actively interested in them. Remember... this process is like dating. The colleges want to know that you (really, really) want them before they commit. So let your chosen school know that you are committed, even as you apply elsewhere as a backup.

   Is there someone who knows you well, who you could ask for a letter of support, or an additional recommendation? This should not be a family member, and should be someone who knows YOU, not just your parents. Quality, not quantity is important here, because the admissions office will not read multiple letters, just one (or maximum of two) additional ones.

   If you skipped an optional essay question... now is the time to submit that, too. Be creative and find interesting and fun things to submit. But don't bother sending cookies, etc. The names are removed and they are enjoyed by the staff, but it won't help your file!

3. Set the Right Tone
   Sinking into self-pity won't help, and neither will righteous indignation. When you are writing or calling the college, try to keep your tone polite and curious. You can definitely express your disappointment, but don't be whiny or entitled. How you handle disappointments will show the college whether or not you are mature enough to attend.

   Similarly, how you talk about this with your friends and family is important, too. Stress the positive... "I have a chance to show them more about me" rather than the negative. You will get support and encouragement in return which is a lot more helpful than pity. If you can't bear to talk about it, come up with a flip answer to put people off (I am joining the circus instead of college) or find ways to deflect the conversation. But make sure you brainstorm with someone you trust.

4. Make sure your other Apps are Strong
As you are strengthening your deferred application, make sure you are doing the same with your other applications. If you didn't visit your safety school, go for a tour. Demonstrated interest is important for ALL of your schools, not just your top choices. You don't want to wait-listed by your safety, because you have essentially ignored them.

Additional information:
These sample letters come from About.com, and they are good examples of what you can sent to the colleges as you focus on bolstering your app.

If you have been deferred but have new information to present to the college, you'll want to write a letter presenting the updates. Below are a few samples letters:

• Sample Letter #1: Caitlin writes to the University of Georgia to explain a new award.
• Sample Letter #2: Laura writes to Johns Hopkins to present new test scores and a new leadership position on campus.
• Sample Letter #3: Brian writes to Syracuse University but would have done better not writing. See his letter to learn about mistakes to avoid.

Remember that the advice above is general and that every college and university has its own policies when it comes to sending in additional documents.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.
  

It Doesn't Pay to Get Discouraged

"One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn't pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself." —Lucille Ball

I came across this quote today and I wanted to share it with you. It expresses perfectly where you are in your college process... some of your friends (or maybe you) have already been accepted to college. This year is going to be a bit of an emotional roller coaster, with ups and downs, first and lasts, all competing for your attention.

Don't let it get to you. Stay focused on your school work, your friends and family, and most of all believe in yourself. There will likely be some disappointments in the future (very few are accepted to 100% of their colleges). There may be a deferral (or two) in the early round of applications. Just remember that a deferral is not a rejection, and by sending additional information, you may be able to strengthen your application to change that deferral into an acceptance. And get those remaining apps out the door. No one writes a good essay when they are feeling depressed.

(More about deferrals and what you can do in my next post).

Hang in there. Take some time to breathe and relax (as long as you aren't sliding into Senioritis!). This is a long process, but in the end, you will be in a dorm in September, excited to begin your college life!

Highest Freshman Retention Rates/America's Happiest Campuses

 The following list is courtesy of Dodge Johnson, president of IECA and seasoned consultant. This is list is based on the percentage of freshmen who return for sophomore year.  Retention does not necessarily indicate that the students are happy, but it is a good sign!

SUMMA CUM GUADIA (97%+)

Berkeley, UC at
Brown University
California Institute Of Technology
Carleton College
Chicago, University of
Columbia University
Dartmouth College
Duke University
Harvard University
Los Angeles, UC at
Massachusetts Institute Of Technology
North Carolina, University of
Northwestern University
Notre Dame, University of
Olin College of Engineering
Pennsylvania, University of
Pomona College
Princeton University
Southern California, University of
Stanford University
Tufts University
Vanderbilt University
Washington University
Wesleyan University
Williams College
Yale University


MAGNA CUM GAUDIA (94-96%)

Amherst College
Barnard College
Boston College
Bowdoin College
Bucknell University
Carnegie-Mellon University
Claremont McKenna College
Colby College
Colorado College
Cooper Union
Cornell University
Davidson College
Emory University
Franklin & Marshall College
George Washington University
Georgetown University
Georgia Institute Of Technology
Hamilton College
Haverford College
Holy Cross, College of the
Illinois, University of
Irvine, UC at
Johns Hopkins University, The
Lafayette College
Macalester College
Maryland, University of
Michigan, University of
Middlebury College
New Jersey, College of
Oberlin College
Pitzer College
Rhode Island School Of Design
Rice University
Rochester, University of
San Diego, UC at
Scripps College
Skidmore College
Swarthmore College
Vassar College
Villanova University
Virginia, University of
Wake Forest University
Washington And Lee University
Wellesley College
William And Mary, College of
Wisconsin, University of
Worcester Polytechnic Institute


CUM GAUDIA (90-93%)

Amherst College
Barnard College
Boston College
Bowdoin College
Bucknell University
Carnegie-Mellon University
Claremont McKenna College
Colby College
Colorado College
Cooper Union
Cornell University
Davidson College
Emory University
Franklin & Marshall College
George Washington University
Georgetown University
Georgia Institute Of Technology
Hamilton College
Haverford College
Holy Cross, College of the
Illinois, University of
Irvine, UC at
Johns Hopkins University, The
Lafayette College
Macalester College
Maryland, University of
Michigan, University of
Middlebury College
New Jersey, College of
Oberlin College
Pitzer College
Rhode Island School Of Design
Rice University
Rochester, University of
San Diego, UC at
Scripps College
Skidmore College
Swarthmore College
Vassar College
Villanova University
Virginia, University of
Wake Forest University
Washington And Lee University
Wellesley College
William And Mary, College of
Wisconsin, University of
Worcester Polytechnic Institute

Worry About What You Can Control

Several of my students are very concerned about what they are reading about admissions figures being published by the New York Times and elsewhere (NYTimes.com - http://nyti.ms/dG1u1j). They are definitely scary for Juniors who are facing lower admissions rates and increased competition.

I have written previously about why this is happening (anxiety, rankings, marketing and the ease of applying online) but today I want to talk about what students can do about it.

Nothing.

You have no control over how many students are accepted and how many applications the colleges receive. You have no control over how many students will be accepted off the waiting list.  The more you focus on the numbers you can't control the more anxious you will get. Do you want to get really depressed? Remember that the most selective schools can afford to reject Valedictorians and folks with 2400 SATs.

Instead, focus on the stuff you can control, like your grades, your activities, and your essays. Even your test scores are beyond your control to a certain extent. Yes, you can prep, and study and retake the test, but at a certain point, your scores are your scores.



But you are not your scores.

Here is the problem with comparing your test scores with your friends and classmates: No matter what you get, someone will get better than you did, and it will make you feel badly about your scores. So it is up to you to decide when enough is enough. Could you do better if you take it again? Possibly. But you could get almost the same score, too.

Don't fixate on numbers (acceptance ratios or test scores). In the long run, they are not the most important thing.

Take a deep breath. And remember that there is an entire qualitative (non-vanilla) side to you that you will present on your applications. And remember that there are 4,000 colleges in the US, and more in Canada. And remember that the most important thing is finding the right fit... the right college where you can achieve your potential. The name on the diploma matters less than the quality of the education. 

Put your energy into your schoolwork, your extracurriculars and all the things that make you... well, you. In the application process, that is what will get you accepted, and in the long run, that is what will make you a happier person.

 

The Three Worst Things You Can Say to a Financial Aid Officer

You've gotten your award. You are asking for more. The Three Worst Things You Can Say to a Financial Aid Officer - http://aol.it/eMgnyY